8 Jokes For Scottish People

Here are 8 jokes as listed in today’s Daily Record, brilliant…

1. A Glasgow woman goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair.

“Comfy?” asks the dentist.

“Govan,” she replies.

2. How many Spanish guys does it take to change a light bulb?

Just Juan.

3.Did you hear about the lonely prisoner?

He was in his cell.

4. After announcing he was getting married, a boy tells his pal he will be wearing the kilt.

“And what’s the tartan?” asks his mate.

“Oh, she’ll be wearing a white dress,” he replies.

5. Ten cows in a field. Which one is closest to Iraq?

Coo eight.

6. A teenage girl phones her dad at midnight and says: “Can you come and get me? I’ve missed the last bus and it’s pouring with rain.”

“Okay,” says her dad. “Where are you ringing from?”

The girl replies: “From the top of my head right down to my knickers”.

7. What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography?

Oor Wullie.

8. A man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing.

“No”, argues the assistant, “look at that – it says Taiwan”.

Huge Respect For Wilson and Wright

Andrew Wilson and Tommy Wright appear to be the lone voices at Steel Park lately, rolled out after each game to the waiting press to give the same answers to the same questions that neither of them can really answer. It has been weeks since the financial issues and player payment problems were confirmed, yet the club has still issued no official statement. Apart from the chairman’s admission on BBC Northampton that there were delays, there has still been no full public explanation and absolutely no apology at all.

The squad at Corby Town has been torn apart as a result, with 7 senior players having already left the club and those remaining still no wiser to whether or not their next pay cheque will arrive on time, or indeed at all. You really have to feel for the managerial duo for having to deal with this situation, they were brought to the club to put together a football team and get the best from their players. They did that to a point and were pushing for the play-offs, yet now they are fighting an impossible battle.

The club’s league results have reflected the situation recently, due to a severely weakened playing squad. However, the victories over Totton and Biggleswade speak volumes about the character of the players and their willingness to play for Wright and Wilson.

The headaches for the duo are internal, as they have been for months. They appear to have been systematically undermined during the recent spell of their tenure. You get the feeling from their interviews that it has taken its toll on them physically and mentally. They have openly talked about wanting to remain at the club, but do not want to put their reputations on the line. And why should they?

Money won’t be a reason why they are fighting on at Corby, they haven’t been receiving their wages after all. What I see in Andrew Wilson and Tommy Wright are proud men who rate their own abilities as coaches and managers and think deep down that maybe, just maybe, this can still work out in the long term.

They have had to put up with a lot in a season which is becoming a complete nightmare but I find their attitudes admirable. At times like this, walking away is definitely the easy option. Yes, you lose your job and you lose all chance of turning things around but it’s got to be preferable to spending every waking moment trying to pull together a squad each week in the hope that things improve, whilst trying to balance family life and a day job.

You don’t enjoy football when your back’s to the wall. They must almost be in a situation where if someone tapped them on the shoulder and said ‘thanks lads but enough is enough’ they would feel a bit of relief. Yet, they still believe their long-term ambitions at Corby aren’t lost.

This last couple of months has not been a fair test of Wright and Wilson; not even close. They should be judged on the side they had assembled prior to the financial issues, which was seemingly making a late charge for the play-offs. But you suspect that the barrage of disruptive politics has done irreparable damage when it comes to their relationship with the chairman.

The mess they’re in is ridiculous. Everything is a problem. You might not think the wage delay was a big deal, or you might not care, but it won’t have done good things to the squad. It’ll be upsetting people and dividing people; it’ll be causing distrust with the club and chairman too. It certainly isn’t a time when anyone feels like doing favours for anyone else.

As a player you’re being asked to help out by putting money aside but you’re not really sure if that help is deserved or if it’s going to be reciprocated. It’s not a matter of whether or not they want to assist the club and the supporters. That goes without saying. But at certain times, what the players are really being asked to do is give a hand to an owner who is making a meal of things. So the dressing room asks ‘why should we?’ That goes for lads who’ve come through the system as much as anyone else, like Molly. At the end of the day you all look out for number one. I find it amazing – truly amazing – that neither the chairman nor the club has said anything about the wage delay. You’d think it had never happened.

In my opinion, someone should be coming out to explain what’s happening, what’s been negotiated to resolve the problems and to address the million and one issues at Steel Park. I am sure that Wright and Wilson have plenty of questions that they would like answered too, because at the moment they are the only ones answering any questions.

The continued backing of the management and players has been great to see from the supporters, in fact it has been an unlikely positive from a bad situation. We will need to stay strong with them until the end of the season, in the hope that we can come out of the other side in one piece. Keep up the good work Tommy and “Stan”.

Proud despite defeat

So we lost against Cambridge City. But I for one am very proud of that performance from the boys tonight.

I actually think we looked the better side against a side now in 4th for large spells of the game.

We didn’t seem to have much luck and the ball wasn’t dropping for us at all.

Well played Steelmen

Jelleyman The Latest Departure

Corby captain Gareth Jelleyman has become the latest player to leave the club, following hot on the heels of Paul Malone, Aman Verma, Claudio Hoban, Cleveland Taylor, Nathan Stanton and Courtney Herbert.

The money worries seem to be getting worse and worse at CTFC and you really do have to fear for the clubs future.

Huge respect to the players who are sticking by the club, they are all legends in the making as far as I am concerned.

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WHO PISSED OFF TOMMY BERWICK?

Another week and another drama at Corby Town Football Club. This place is quickly becoming more of a joke than that Harchester United that used to be on Sky One’s DreamTeam.

First we rest too many players against an in form UCL side (even Arber got a game), we proceeded to show them no respect and got spanked 4-0 for our troubles. So not only have we failed to retain the trophy that we won last season at Sixfields, we were completely humiliated in the process.

However, it appears that somehow this 4-0 loss wasn’t the worst of it, something seems to have happened in the aftermath of the game which has really upset fans favourite and leading goalscorer Tommy “The Beard” Berwick so much that he has quit the club.

Although no real explanation has come out from either side you can read between the lines of Tommy’s tweets last night and today to know that something wasn’t right post match at Cogenhoe.

After thanking the Corby fans and describing them as “class” he stated that the situation was “all preventable” and revealed that he was leaving the club. Last night he tweeted that the performance was “woeful” and that the result was “all my fault apparently”. Later he claimed that “some things never surprise me in football”, followed by “some things are said that can be forgiven, some cant. Say no more”. He also tweeted that “respect is a two way street” and “When you give 100% and don’t get that in return… questions have to be asked”.

What the hell happened? Obviously from the above something did. Tommy has clearly been rattled by someone (one of the managers? A fellow player?) making comments saying that he was at fault for the result?

It will be interesting to see what comes out on the back of this.

Good luck in the future Tommy, hopefully we will see you back in a Corby shirt one day.

CTFC BOUNCE BACK “FROME” MIDWEEK LOSS

Corby bounced back from Wednesday’s loss against ‘itchin with a third straight away win.

The lads made the long trip to Somerset to fave Frome Town with joint manager Tommy Wrights message for them to react positively still ringing in their ears!

Well he obviously took his own advice too having returned from injury as he netted twice in the first half thanks to assists from Greg Mills and Sam Ives.

Frome pulled one back (another bloody set piece) ten minutes into the 2nd half but Sam Ives scored a screamer to wrap up the win.

Luckily a seat was saved on the coach to bring the three points back home and we climbed up the table again!

P2BAS – Proud 2 B A Steelman